gchang
11-25-2007, 11:02 PM
You're in the middle of some home improvement project, hot and sweaty, covered with dirt, wearing old clothes, when you suddently realize you need something from Home Depot. Depending on your age, you:
In your 20's: Stop what you're doing, shave, shower, brush your teeth, floss, blow dry your hair, put on clean clothes, check yourself in the mirror and flex, splash on cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick in the checkout line. Besides, a pretty girl from your high school works the register there.
In your 30's: Stop what you're doing, put on clean shorts and shirt, change your shoes. You married the hot chick, so there's no need to do more. Wash your hands, comb your hair, check the mirror: ah, still got it. Splash on cologne to cover your smell. The cute girl running the register is a buddy's kid sister.
In your 40's: Stop what you're doing, put on shoes, a hat, and a sweatshirt long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut is almost empty so don't waste any on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror; suck in instead of flex. The hot young chick running the register is your daughter's best friend; it feels weird thinking that she's hot.
In your 50's: Stop what you're doing, put on a hat, wipe your hands on your shirt, change your shoes so you don't get dirt in your new sports car, check yourself in the mirror and swear never to wear that shirt again because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you; Ha! I still have it! until you remember the hat you're wearing is from the bait shop and reads, "I Got Worms."
In your 60's: Stop what you're doing, no need for a hat any more, hose the dog crap off your shoes, ignore the mirror, hope you wore underwear this morning so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register might be cute but, since you don't have your glasses, you can't be sure.
In your 70's: Stop what you're doing, call your pharmacy to see if your prescriptions are ready to save a trip later, don't even notice your shoes have dog crap on them. The young thing at the register smiles at you, but only because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's: Stop what you're doing, start again, stop again, wait, where was it you needed to go? Oh, yeah, Home Depot. Wander about, trying to remember why you came. Fart loudly. A child running the register helps you count the change from your change purse.
In your 90's: Stop what you're doing.
In your 20's: Stop what you're doing, shave, shower, brush your teeth, floss, blow dry your hair, put on clean clothes, check yourself in the mirror and flex, splash on cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick in the checkout line. Besides, a pretty girl from your high school works the register there.
In your 30's: Stop what you're doing, put on clean shorts and shirt, change your shoes. You married the hot chick, so there's no need to do more. Wash your hands, comb your hair, check the mirror: ah, still got it. Splash on cologne to cover your smell. The cute girl running the register is a buddy's kid sister.
In your 40's: Stop what you're doing, put on shoes, a hat, and a sweatshirt long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut is almost empty so don't waste any on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror; suck in instead of flex. The hot young chick running the register is your daughter's best friend; it feels weird thinking that she's hot.
In your 50's: Stop what you're doing, put on a hat, wipe your hands on your shirt, change your shoes so you don't get dirt in your new sports car, check yourself in the mirror and swear never to wear that shirt again because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you; Ha! I still have it! until you remember the hat you're wearing is from the bait shop and reads, "I Got Worms."
In your 60's: Stop what you're doing, no need for a hat any more, hose the dog crap off your shoes, ignore the mirror, hope you wore underwear this morning so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register might be cute but, since you don't have your glasses, you can't be sure.
In your 70's: Stop what you're doing, call your pharmacy to see if your prescriptions are ready to save a trip later, don't even notice your shoes have dog crap on them. The young thing at the register smiles at you, but only because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's: Stop what you're doing, start again, stop again, wait, where was it you needed to go? Oh, yeah, Home Depot. Wander about, trying to remember why you came. Fart loudly. A child running the register helps you count the change from your change purse.
In your 90's: Stop what you're doing.