dhabuh
06-08-2006, 01:17 AM
Lost Dr. Seuss Poem?
I love my job, I love the pay.
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss; he is the best.
I love his boss and all the rest.
I love my office and its location.
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
And the paper that piles up every day.
I love my chair in my padded cell.
There's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers.
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.
I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it don't care.
I love each program and every file,
I try to understand once in a while.
I'm happy to be here, I am, I am;
I'm the happiest slave of my Uncle Sam.
I love this work; I love these chores.
I love the meetings with deadly bores.
I love my job-I'll say it again.
I even love these friendly men,
These men who've come to visit today
In lovely white coats to take me away.
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The Farmer and the Pig
A farmer walked into a bar with his pig and ordered a drink. The bartender could not help asking the man why his pig had a peg leg. "Well, you see," said the farmer, "this is an amazing pig. Why, two years ago, my son was chopping wood in the field when a tree collapsed on him, pinning him to the ground and making breathing difficult. The pig, which was in the area, ran to get assistance and, squealing loudly, led us to my son to rescue him."
"You're right, that is an amazing story. But why does your pig have a peg leg?"
This is no ordinary pig," the farmer continued. "One night while we were sleeping, our barn caught fire and the pig managed to squeeze through a little hole in the wall and circle our house, squealing as loud as it could to wake us up. We were able to save all of the animals."
"Wow. Incredible. But why does the pig have a peg leg?"
"Wait. Once, our home caught on fire. The pig managed to run to the next house over and wake the neighbors, who were able to save us and help put out the fire."
"Okay, okay! The pig is amazing. But why the peg leg?" the bartender demanded.
"An amazing pig like this. You can't eat it all at once."
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The Lawyer's Dog
A butcher was minding his store one day, when a dog ran in and stole a cut of meat off his counter. The butcher recognized the dog as belonging to his neighbor who was a lawyer. He called up his neighbor and said, "Your dog stole meat from my store. I believe you owe me for the meat."
The lawyer said "You are correct. How much was the meat?"
The butcher told him that it cost $4.50, the lawyer replied that the butcher should receive a check for that amount in the mail the next day.
The next day, the check arrived in the mail for $4.50, with a bill attached for $150 "for legal consultation."
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Faith
A nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
The attendant regretfully told her that the only gas can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried it back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car, two men walked by. One of them turned to the other and said: "Now that is what I call faith!"
I love my job, I love the pay.
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss; he is the best.
I love his boss and all the rest.
I love my office and its location.
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
And the paper that piles up every day.
I love my chair in my padded cell.
There's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers.
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.
I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it don't care.
I love each program and every file,
I try to understand once in a while.
I'm happy to be here, I am, I am;
I'm the happiest slave of my Uncle Sam.
I love this work; I love these chores.
I love the meetings with deadly bores.
I love my job-I'll say it again.
I even love these friendly men,
These men who've come to visit today
In lovely white coats to take me away.
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
The Farmer and the Pig
A farmer walked into a bar with his pig and ordered a drink. The bartender could not help asking the man why his pig had a peg leg. "Well, you see," said the farmer, "this is an amazing pig. Why, two years ago, my son was chopping wood in the field when a tree collapsed on him, pinning him to the ground and making breathing difficult. The pig, which was in the area, ran to get assistance and, squealing loudly, led us to my son to rescue him."
"You're right, that is an amazing story. But why does your pig have a peg leg?"
This is no ordinary pig," the farmer continued. "One night while we were sleeping, our barn caught fire and the pig managed to squeeze through a little hole in the wall and circle our house, squealing as loud as it could to wake us up. We were able to save all of the animals."
"Wow. Incredible. But why does the pig have a peg leg?"
"Wait. Once, our home caught on fire. The pig managed to run to the next house over and wake the neighbors, who were able to save us and help put out the fire."
"Okay, okay! The pig is amazing. But why the peg leg?" the bartender demanded.
"An amazing pig like this. You can't eat it all at once."
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
The Lawyer's Dog
A butcher was minding his store one day, when a dog ran in and stole a cut of meat off his counter. The butcher recognized the dog as belonging to his neighbor who was a lawyer. He called up his neighbor and said, "Your dog stole meat from my store. I believe you owe me for the meat."
The lawyer said "You are correct. How much was the meat?"
The butcher told him that it cost $4.50, the lawyer replied that the butcher should receive a check for that amount in the mail the next day.
The next day, the check arrived in the mail for $4.50, with a bill attached for $150 "for legal consultation."
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
Faith
A nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
The attendant regretfully told her that the only gas can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried it back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car, two men walked by. One of them turned to the other and said: "Now that is what I call faith!"