dhabuh
06-08-2006, 12:46 AM
This Week's Cooking Diary
Monday:
I decided I was going to cook for my husband Danny. Today, I made an angel food cake. The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
Tuesday:
Danny wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said to serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Danny brought a friend home for supper.
Wednesday:
A good day for rice. The recipe said to wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly, but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday:
Today, Danny asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said to prepare the ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Danny asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.
Friday:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said to put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must be something wrong with the recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
Saturday:
Danny did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. For some reason he keeps counting to ten.
Sunday:
We had some people over for dinner. I wanted to serve a roast, but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY
This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Danny. If I can talk him into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.
Want a real 7-Day Menu Planner? ArcaMax Publishing recently launched such a thing -- and you can get it for free by clicking here.
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Navajo Hitchhiker
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.
The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said,
"Good trade."
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Blood Flow
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "'It's because yer feet ain't empty."
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Shakespeare by Computer
William Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 ("Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?") converted into the programming language ActionScript:
var summer:Object = ;
var thee:Object = ;
summer.name = "Summer Day";
thee.name = "Thee";
summer.lovelyness = 9;
thee.lovelyness = 10;
summer.temperature = 98;
thee.temperature = 98.6;
summer.lease = new Date(2006, 7, 31).getTime() - new Date(2006, 5, 1).getTime();
thee.lease = new Date(2042, 6, 12).getTime() - new Date(1970, 8, 25).getTime();
summer.complexion = 0xFFCC33;
thee.complexion = 0xFFCCCC;
summer.fair = 10;
thee.fair = 10;
summer.getValue = function():Number
Monday:
I decided I was going to cook for my husband Danny. Today, I made an angel food cake. The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
Tuesday:
Danny wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said to serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Danny brought a friend home for supper.
Wednesday:
A good day for rice. The recipe said to wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly, but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday:
Today, Danny asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said to prepare the ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Danny asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.
Friday:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said to put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must be something wrong with the recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
Saturday:
Danny did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. For some reason he keeps counting to ten.
Sunday:
We had some people over for dinner. I wanted to serve a roast, but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY
This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Danny. If I can talk him into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.
Want a real 7-Day Menu Planner? ArcaMax Publishing recently launched such a thing -- and you can get it for free by clicking here.
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
Navajo Hitchhiker
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.
The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said,
"Good trade."
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
Blood Flow
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "'It's because yer feet ain't empty."
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
Shakespeare by Computer
William Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 ("Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?") converted into the programming language ActionScript:
var summer:Object = ;
var thee:Object = ;
summer.name = "Summer Day";
thee.name = "Thee";
summer.lovelyness = 9;
thee.lovelyness = 10;
summer.temperature = 98;
thee.temperature = 98.6;
summer.lease = new Date(2006, 7, 31).getTime() - new Date(2006, 5, 1).getTime();
thee.lease = new Date(2042, 6, 12).getTime() - new Date(1970, 8, 25).getTime();
summer.complexion = 0xFFCC33;
thee.complexion = 0xFFCCCC;
summer.fair = 10;
thee.fair = 10;
summer.getValue = function():Number