dhabuh
06-08-2006, 12:22 AM
Seventeenth Chapter
A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.
"Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark."
The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, "Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room."
About half the class rose and came forward.
"The rest of you may leave," said the teacher, "these students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark."
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The Hair Cut
A boy asks his father to use the car and the father replies "No, not until you cut your hair!".
The boy replies "But father...Jesus had long hair!"
To which his father says, "Yeah, but Jesus walked everywhere."
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Vow of Silence
At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence. This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence.
One Christmas, Brother Thomas had his turn to speak and said, "I love the delightful mashed potatoes we have every year with the Christmas roast!" Then he sat down. Silence ensued for 365 days.
The next Christmas, Brother Michael got his turn, and said, "I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I truly despise them!" Once again, silence ensued for 365 days.
The following Christmas, Brother Paul rose and said, "I am fed up with this constant bickering!"
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Final Requests
A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales.
"Why Bloomingdales?" asked the rabbi.
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.
"Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark."
The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, "Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room."
About half the class rose and came forward.
"The rest of you may leave," said the teacher, "these students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark."
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
The Hair Cut
A boy asks his father to use the car and the father replies "No, not until you cut your hair!".
The boy replies "But father...Jesus had long hair!"
To which his father says, "Yeah, but Jesus walked everywhere."
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
Vow of Silence
At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence. This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence.
One Christmas, Brother Thomas had his turn to speak and said, "I love the delightful mashed potatoes we have every year with the Christmas roast!" Then he sat down. Silence ensued for 365 days.
The next Christmas, Brother Michael got his turn, and said, "I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I truly despise them!" Once again, silence ensued for 365 days.
The following Christmas, Brother Paul rose and said, "I am fed up with this constant bickering!"
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
Final Requests
A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales.
"Why Bloomingdales?" asked the rabbi.
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."