dhabuh
06-07-2006, 09:32 AM
Lawyers on a Plane
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."
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More Reasons It's Great to be A Guy
- You never have to clean the toilet.
- You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
- Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend.
- Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
- The National College Cheerleading Championship.
- None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
- If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
- You can write your name in the snow.
- You can get into a nontrivial peeing contest.
- Everything on your face stays its original color.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can be president.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
- Flowers fix everything.
- Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
- You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
- You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
- You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
- You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
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Answering Machine Message 119
Hi, this is Johan advising you that you spend WAY too much time on the phone. GO OUTSIDE... See the world, LIVE a little... Have fun.
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Gathering Chickens
The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.
"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them."
"Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
More Reasons It's Great to be A Guy
- You never have to clean the toilet.
- You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
- Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend.
- Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
- The National College Cheerleading Championship.
- None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
- If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
- You can write your name in the snow.
- You can get into a nontrivial peeing contest.
- Everything on your face stays its original color.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can be president.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
- Flowers fix everything.
- Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
- You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
- You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
- You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
- You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
Answering Machine Message 119
Hi, this is Johan advising you that you spend WAY too much time on the phone. GO OUTSIDE... See the world, LIVE a little... Have fun.
Printer Friendly Version | Send this story to a friend | Back to Top
Gathering Chickens
The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.
"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them."
"Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."