deviant
05-10-2007, 11:30 AM
You fell in love. Great!
You gave all you’ve got to make the relationship work. (Or so you thought)
One day, you woke up and realize that it’s all over. It doesn’t matter who ended it. It’s gone. You’re lost and panic that you’re life is suddenly empty! Pffft! Suddenly you feel pain everywhere… mind, body, etc... You are simply devastated. Relationship fallout can bring pain in other areas of your life too—your relationship with your family, friends and even your professional life can be affected. Moving on from this mess is tough—it takes time, but it’s got to be done. Looking ahead and being more positive at this point is easier said than done. But really, it’s a matter of choice.
If you are more passionate than others that you linger in that pain and contemplates on ending your life? Fine! But why will you do that? Did you run out of other reasons to live? For Pete’s sake wake up. Make yourself useful.
But really, how do we cope up? Once in our lives, everyone got broken hearted. Our emotions are real no matter what causes the pain. Be it the death of your favorite dog or favorite person. – It is still separation… Breaking up is a separation. We all go through this.
Before we move on, we all go through the same process: shock, denial, grief and anger and finally acceptance.
Shock. We don’t really know what hit us right? One day you’re oh so sweet painting everything in red… then, you’re paralyzed. What happened? -- is all the question you can think of.
Denial. You refuse to believe that it’s over. Go ahead. We think that maybe, it is not over just yet. You try to live as normal as possible hoping that everything will go back to normal—or the way it used to be.
Grief- Yeah... finally the truth is creeping on you. Then you start to assess everything again. Maybe it’s over? OMG… what shall I do now? This is the part where every broken hearted are most vulnerable. Beware – be careful not to start a relationship at this point or it will be doomed. Forget about that cheesy line -- ”Oh I love you because you complete me” You have to be complete even before you enter a relationship—“Let us grow together” is a better philosophy. Anybody hurting and feeling this pain should acknowledge that there is pain. It’s ok to feel it—mourn. Cry a river if you wish. For how long?-- It depends on your tolerance level with pain. Others end this cycle in an hour (rare), days, weeks, months, years—others are more fatalistic--forever. Sigh. At this point, crying is good. Your tears will clear your vision (hopefully) and will enable you to see things better. :D Help yourself by accepting support from friends, colleagues and family. Be patient: the pain will die away but it will take time.
Learn the lessons and Look ahead. What goodness will this failed relationship brings into your life? Not feeling bitter over a failed relation will enable you to think clearly and be better prepared and wiser—next time you enter a relationship.
Moving on. As we recover, we start feeling more enthusiastic about life. We start to socialize again. Get in touch with all your friends. Never turn down an invite, however boring, because it might lead to a new and exciting friendship. Go back to the things that you love to do—be it painting, singing, and dancing. Take up a new sport—bungee jumping (frightening), or a new hobby. You can even visit your favorite charitable institution which I find most effective. Yeah, seeing the pain of others makes me realize that I am more blessed than these people. Sigh!
Recovering from a failed relationship is tough. But I guess we have the choice to be tougher
You gave all you’ve got to make the relationship work. (Or so you thought)
One day, you woke up and realize that it’s all over. It doesn’t matter who ended it. It’s gone. You’re lost and panic that you’re life is suddenly empty! Pffft! Suddenly you feel pain everywhere… mind, body, etc... You are simply devastated. Relationship fallout can bring pain in other areas of your life too—your relationship with your family, friends and even your professional life can be affected. Moving on from this mess is tough—it takes time, but it’s got to be done. Looking ahead and being more positive at this point is easier said than done. But really, it’s a matter of choice.
If you are more passionate than others that you linger in that pain and contemplates on ending your life? Fine! But why will you do that? Did you run out of other reasons to live? For Pete’s sake wake up. Make yourself useful.
But really, how do we cope up? Once in our lives, everyone got broken hearted. Our emotions are real no matter what causes the pain. Be it the death of your favorite dog or favorite person. – It is still separation… Breaking up is a separation. We all go through this.
Before we move on, we all go through the same process: shock, denial, grief and anger and finally acceptance.
Shock. We don’t really know what hit us right? One day you’re oh so sweet painting everything in red… then, you’re paralyzed. What happened? -- is all the question you can think of.
Denial. You refuse to believe that it’s over. Go ahead. We think that maybe, it is not over just yet. You try to live as normal as possible hoping that everything will go back to normal—or the way it used to be.
Grief- Yeah... finally the truth is creeping on you. Then you start to assess everything again. Maybe it’s over? OMG… what shall I do now? This is the part where every broken hearted are most vulnerable. Beware – be careful not to start a relationship at this point or it will be doomed. Forget about that cheesy line -- ”Oh I love you because you complete me” You have to be complete even before you enter a relationship—“Let us grow together” is a better philosophy. Anybody hurting and feeling this pain should acknowledge that there is pain. It’s ok to feel it—mourn. Cry a river if you wish. For how long?-- It depends on your tolerance level with pain. Others end this cycle in an hour (rare), days, weeks, months, years—others are more fatalistic--forever. Sigh. At this point, crying is good. Your tears will clear your vision (hopefully) and will enable you to see things better. :D Help yourself by accepting support from friends, colleagues and family. Be patient: the pain will die away but it will take time.
Learn the lessons and Look ahead. What goodness will this failed relationship brings into your life? Not feeling bitter over a failed relation will enable you to think clearly and be better prepared and wiser—next time you enter a relationship.
Moving on. As we recover, we start feeling more enthusiastic about life. We start to socialize again. Get in touch with all your friends. Never turn down an invite, however boring, because it might lead to a new and exciting friendship. Go back to the things that you love to do—be it painting, singing, and dancing. Take up a new sport—bungee jumping (frightening), or a new hobby. You can even visit your favorite charitable institution which I find most effective. Yeah, seeing the pain of others makes me realize that I am more blessed than these people. Sigh!
Recovering from a failed relationship is tough. But I guess we have the choice to be tougher