deviant
05-04-2007, 01:32 PM
Quickies have gotten a bad rap. We’re not even talking about wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of sex—although for sure, this practice has had a hand in popularizing them as synonymous to bad sex.
What I am talking about involves couples who have been together for over a week or, at the very least, who have flirted shamelessly with each other from the moment they were introduced and through three bottles of beer. What we’re not talking about here is paid sex.
Ask women about quickies, and what comes to mind? Five minutes of being banged against a cold bathroom wall or a three-minute pumping session on the dining table of your boyfriend’s house, all the while on your toes (in more ways than one), expecting his parents to walk in any moment. The anxiety, the cold tiles, the pretzel positions required by tight quarters never make for an orgasmic experiences; “save for some…but we’ll get to that later”.
Even America’s favorite sex therapist, Dr. Ruth, advises against the quickie. Slow lovemaking, she says, is a better alternative even if it means that you wake up half an hour early for a pre-breakfast snack with your husband or hire a baby-sitter for a spot of sex in the afternoon.
Come and go
When it comes to a quick romp in the sack, women are on the losing end. It’s not often that they can get hot and get off in the span of ten minutes. Dr. Ruth explains that “to achieve orgasm is often more complicated for her (the female) than for the average male.”
While man can climax by thrusting in and out of the vagina, most women require stimulation to the clitoris (which is located some three inches above the vaginal opening). It is rare, if not impossible, for women to climax from vaginal stimulation alone given that the only nerve endings in the vagina are near the opening. Further inside the vagina, a woman can feel nothing.
Twenty-five-year-old Natalie Perez recounts that when she and her boyfriend tried a quickie in her parked car, the thrill of it came and went as fast as her boyfriend’s erection. “Although I felt excited at the start, when he started to move inside me, I couldn’t feel a thing. I enjoyed ripping our clothes off more than the act itself.” She adds, “Quickies always seem so much more exciting in the movies. In real time, it can be a disappointing experience.”
But quickies wouldn’t have been invented if people didn’t have their fun with it. All you need to enjoy this brief, fierce style of lovemaking is a change in attitude and tactic on your part.
Imagination as foreplay. The problem with a quickie is that you are caught off guard. And when a woman is not sufficiently aroused, sex can be more painful than pleasurable. Hence, an on-going campaign against rushed lovemaking. Men are continuously reproached for not spending enough time stimulating their partners’ erogenous zones (i.e. nipples, clitoris, neck, what have you) before diving in, literally. The question then: since women require more time and effort to get aroused, is it possible for you to find gratification in a quickie?
Jinky Torres, 30, says that as long as she and her husband have been thinking of sex, fast love can be enjoyable. “Quickies will only work if you’ve been thinking about doing it prior to the act itself. Better yet, if you’ve been feeling sexually frustrated,” explains Jinky.
Go ahead and let your imagination take the place of actual foreplay. When your senses are heightened by thoughts and images related to sex, foreplay becomes unnecessary, a hindrance almost.
Tracy Suarez, 21, describes one afternoon when she and her boyfriend passed sexually-heated notes to each other in class. This got them so hot and bothered that before the bell rang, they took off in their car, found an empty parking lot, and “without any kissing and touching, we did it,” relates Tracy. “It was like our bodies were in heat and the only way we could start thinking sanely again was to do it. It was a very sexy experience.”
Rut-free. The quickie’s major draw, on the other hand, is the thrill it generates for the couple. When you’re bored with the almost-routine feel of your lovemaking (kissing first, then nipple stimulation, then petting, then thrusting), you can jump-start your sex life by going at it fast and furious. The change of pace jogs memories of more passionate times and thus ignites some of the old fire. As Dr. Ruth suggests, “It is better to vary the sex a little rather than the sex partner.” Quickies remind long-time couples that sex is a hunger and not just some conjugal duty.
The quickie is its own reward. An orgasm completes the sexual experience the way an exclamation point punctuates an emotionally-charged sentence. Without an orgasm, the intercourse is unsatisfying, like an uncompleted thought with an ellipsis tacked on to the end. Although this sentiment holds true for most, there are instances when a sex episode doesn’t have to end with both partners climaxing.
Anna Benitez, 20, says that when it comes to quickies “it is not always important if the woman comes. Because the very act itself, the thrill of the moment, is pleasurable in its own way.”
Lisa Santos, 25, agrees that an orgasm is not the end-all-be-all of a romp in bed. “It’s not very easy for women to achieve orgasm through having vaginal intercourse. But sometimes the roughness and the passion of the moment is enough for me. I’ve told my boyfriend that it’s not always necessary for me to orgasm. Just getting caught in the heat of a quickie is already mind-blowing.”
When a woman loves like a man. Perhaps the biggest threat to women enjoying the occasional quickie is the idea that only men enjoy it fast and rough. Even more of a threat is that women don’t enjoy sex at all. And that only a certain kind of woman (and we know what kind that is) wants to have sex.
According to Dr. Judith Glass, an American sex therapist, “Lusty sex is a way for a woman to adapt to what is traditionally a more masculine approach—to enjoy sex for the sake of sex.” Following this line of reason, quickies are empowering. They claim for us what we have been denied: the right to enjoy sex for the pleasure it gives us. Sex becomes an ecstasy thing, an expression-of-love thing, a bonding thing, a release thing.
Quickies also do away with the cat-and-mouse game that we were reared on. There is no need to pretend that you have no sexual urges and that sex is the culmination of some sick wrestling match between man and woman. What quickies have done is redefine the concept of foreplay. Stimulation need not be physical to trigger the wanting. There’s the look, a shared memory, a spoken word, or visual stimuli like an erotic scene on film to fan the flames.
But what makes the act so extraordinary is the circumstance that surrounds it. It’s an exciting idea to burn with a yearning so intense, almost painful that it has to be assuaged right his very second. Even if it means surrendering propriety—parking your car in a secluded spot, finding a vacant stairwell, an empty bathroom, or going at it under the office table. Quickies are, well, quick. But with a little imagination, they can be more than an eat-and-run thing
What I am talking about involves couples who have been together for over a week or, at the very least, who have flirted shamelessly with each other from the moment they were introduced and through three bottles of beer. What we’re not talking about here is paid sex.
Ask women about quickies, and what comes to mind? Five minutes of being banged against a cold bathroom wall or a three-minute pumping session on the dining table of your boyfriend’s house, all the while on your toes (in more ways than one), expecting his parents to walk in any moment. The anxiety, the cold tiles, the pretzel positions required by tight quarters never make for an orgasmic experiences; “save for some…but we’ll get to that later”.
Even America’s favorite sex therapist, Dr. Ruth, advises against the quickie. Slow lovemaking, she says, is a better alternative even if it means that you wake up half an hour early for a pre-breakfast snack with your husband or hire a baby-sitter for a spot of sex in the afternoon.
Come and go
When it comes to a quick romp in the sack, women are on the losing end. It’s not often that they can get hot and get off in the span of ten minutes. Dr. Ruth explains that “to achieve orgasm is often more complicated for her (the female) than for the average male.”
While man can climax by thrusting in and out of the vagina, most women require stimulation to the clitoris (which is located some three inches above the vaginal opening). It is rare, if not impossible, for women to climax from vaginal stimulation alone given that the only nerve endings in the vagina are near the opening. Further inside the vagina, a woman can feel nothing.
Twenty-five-year-old Natalie Perez recounts that when she and her boyfriend tried a quickie in her parked car, the thrill of it came and went as fast as her boyfriend’s erection. “Although I felt excited at the start, when he started to move inside me, I couldn’t feel a thing. I enjoyed ripping our clothes off more than the act itself.” She adds, “Quickies always seem so much more exciting in the movies. In real time, it can be a disappointing experience.”
But quickies wouldn’t have been invented if people didn’t have their fun with it. All you need to enjoy this brief, fierce style of lovemaking is a change in attitude and tactic on your part.
Imagination as foreplay. The problem with a quickie is that you are caught off guard. And when a woman is not sufficiently aroused, sex can be more painful than pleasurable. Hence, an on-going campaign against rushed lovemaking. Men are continuously reproached for not spending enough time stimulating their partners’ erogenous zones (i.e. nipples, clitoris, neck, what have you) before diving in, literally. The question then: since women require more time and effort to get aroused, is it possible for you to find gratification in a quickie?
Jinky Torres, 30, says that as long as she and her husband have been thinking of sex, fast love can be enjoyable. “Quickies will only work if you’ve been thinking about doing it prior to the act itself. Better yet, if you’ve been feeling sexually frustrated,” explains Jinky.
Go ahead and let your imagination take the place of actual foreplay. When your senses are heightened by thoughts and images related to sex, foreplay becomes unnecessary, a hindrance almost.
Tracy Suarez, 21, describes one afternoon when she and her boyfriend passed sexually-heated notes to each other in class. This got them so hot and bothered that before the bell rang, they took off in their car, found an empty parking lot, and “without any kissing and touching, we did it,” relates Tracy. “It was like our bodies were in heat and the only way we could start thinking sanely again was to do it. It was a very sexy experience.”
Rut-free. The quickie’s major draw, on the other hand, is the thrill it generates for the couple. When you’re bored with the almost-routine feel of your lovemaking (kissing first, then nipple stimulation, then petting, then thrusting), you can jump-start your sex life by going at it fast and furious. The change of pace jogs memories of more passionate times and thus ignites some of the old fire. As Dr. Ruth suggests, “It is better to vary the sex a little rather than the sex partner.” Quickies remind long-time couples that sex is a hunger and not just some conjugal duty.
The quickie is its own reward. An orgasm completes the sexual experience the way an exclamation point punctuates an emotionally-charged sentence. Without an orgasm, the intercourse is unsatisfying, like an uncompleted thought with an ellipsis tacked on to the end. Although this sentiment holds true for most, there are instances when a sex episode doesn’t have to end with both partners climaxing.
Anna Benitez, 20, says that when it comes to quickies “it is not always important if the woman comes. Because the very act itself, the thrill of the moment, is pleasurable in its own way.”
Lisa Santos, 25, agrees that an orgasm is not the end-all-be-all of a romp in bed. “It’s not very easy for women to achieve orgasm through having vaginal intercourse. But sometimes the roughness and the passion of the moment is enough for me. I’ve told my boyfriend that it’s not always necessary for me to orgasm. Just getting caught in the heat of a quickie is already mind-blowing.”
When a woman loves like a man. Perhaps the biggest threat to women enjoying the occasional quickie is the idea that only men enjoy it fast and rough. Even more of a threat is that women don’t enjoy sex at all. And that only a certain kind of woman (and we know what kind that is) wants to have sex.
According to Dr. Judith Glass, an American sex therapist, “Lusty sex is a way for a woman to adapt to what is traditionally a more masculine approach—to enjoy sex for the sake of sex.” Following this line of reason, quickies are empowering. They claim for us what we have been denied: the right to enjoy sex for the pleasure it gives us. Sex becomes an ecstasy thing, an expression-of-love thing, a bonding thing, a release thing.
Quickies also do away with the cat-and-mouse game that we were reared on. There is no need to pretend that you have no sexual urges and that sex is the culmination of some sick wrestling match between man and woman. What quickies have done is redefine the concept of foreplay. Stimulation need not be physical to trigger the wanting. There’s the look, a shared memory, a spoken word, or visual stimuli like an erotic scene on film to fan the flames.
But what makes the act so extraordinary is the circumstance that surrounds it. It’s an exciting idea to burn with a yearning so intense, almost painful that it has to be assuaged right his very second. Even if it means surrendering propriety—parking your car in a secluded spot, finding a vacant stairwell, an empty bathroom, or going at it under the office table. Quickies are, well, quick. But with a little imagination, they can be more than an eat-and-run thing