dhabuh
09-10-2006, 04:57 AM
Never Felt Better
One day in court, the prosecuting lawyer asked the farmer on the witness stand, "At the scene of the accident, did you tell the policeman you had never felt better in your life?"
"That's right." The farmer replied.
"Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's auto hit your wagon?"
The farmer explained. "When the policeman arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog, who was all banged up, and shot him.
"When he asked me how I felt, I just thought, under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say 'I've never felt better in my life.'"
A Dog's Telegram
On a slow day with few customers, a clerk at a telegram office looks down from her counter and sees a dog waiting in line.
"Oh, aren't you cute?" she says. "What would you like me to put on your telegram?"
"Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow," the dog replies.
The clerk says in a cutesy voice, "But you can add another 'Bow wow wow' for the same price."
The dog responds, "Now wouldn't that sound a little silly?"
Two Hydrogen Atoms
Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other recently.
One said: "Why do you look so sad?"
The other responded: "I lost an electron."
Concerned, One asked "Are you sure?"
The other replied "I'm positive."
Knock Knock! Who's There?
Who.
Who who?
Is there an owl in here?
One day in court, the prosecuting lawyer asked the farmer on the witness stand, "At the scene of the accident, did you tell the policeman you had never felt better in your life?"
"That's right." The farmer replied.
"Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's auto hit your wagon?"
The farmer explained. "When the policeman arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog, who was all banged up, and shot him.
"When he asked me how I felt, I just thought, under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say 'I've never felt better in my life.'"
A Dog's Telegram
On a slow day with few customers, a clerk at a telegram office looks down from her counter and sees a dog waiting in line.
"Oh, aren't you cute?" she says. "What would you like me to put on your telegram?"
"Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow," the dog replies.
The clerk says in a cutesy voice, "But you can add another 'Bow wow wow' for the same price."
The dog responds, "Now wouldn't that sound a little silly?"
Two Hydrogen Atoms
Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other recently.
One said: "Why do you look so sad?"
The other responded: "I lost an electron."
Concerned, One asked "Are you sure?"
The other replied "I'm positive."
Knock Knock! Who's There?
Who.
Who who?
Is there an owl in here?