dhabuh
09-10-2006, 02:18 AM
Growing Up
My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the February break.
When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. My son was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked him.
"Since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk."
Mad Cow Disease
One day two cows were chatting over the fence between their two fields.
The first cow said, "I'm telling you, this mad cow disease is getting pretty scary! I've heard it's spreading so fast that it's already on Farmer Rubin's land just down the road!"
The second cow replied, "So what? It doesn't affect us chickens!"
Still More Shredded Similes, Mutilated Metaphors
For your entertainment, still more actual similes and metaphors found by high school English teachers from across the country in their student's essays.
- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
- The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Knock Knock! Who's There?
Ilka!
Ilka who?
Ilka pone!
My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the February break.
When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. My son was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked him.
"Since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk."
Mad Cow Disease
One day two cows were chatting over the fence between their two fields.
The first cow said, "I'm telling you, this mad cow disease is getting pretty scary! I've heard it's spreading so fast that it's already on Farmer Rubin's land just down the road!"
The second cow replied, "So what? It doesn't affect us chickens!"
Still More Shredded Similes, Mutilated Metaphors
For your entertainment, still more actual similes and metaphors found by high school English teachers from across the country in their student's essays.
- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
- The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Knock Knock! Who's There?
Ilka!
Ilka who?
Ilka pone!