dhabuh
09-09-2006, 10:58 AM
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a
moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
************************************************** ******************
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she
heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience
grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into
their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left
the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"
************************************************** ****************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a
swing made from a tir e; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We
rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little
girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish
I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
************************************************** ******************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I
asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
************************************************** ******************
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor.
She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied.
"I can't read."
************************************************** ******************
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color
it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was
fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying
sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these
yourself!"
************************************************** ******************
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming
after us with flashlights."
************************************************** ******************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," h e advised. "Mine says I'm
four to si x."
************************************************** ********* A second
grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma,
guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother,
more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's
interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple,"
replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'"
************************************************** ******************
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a
teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you
know what pregnant means?" she asked. Sure," said the young boy
confidently. "It means carrying a child."
************************************************** *
A nursery school te acher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said
one youngster. "No, said another, "he's just for good luck." A
third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she
said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a
moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
************************************************** ******************
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she
heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience
grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into
their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left
the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"
************************************************** ****************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a
swing made from a tir e; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We
rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little
girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish
I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
************************************************** ******************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I
asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
************************************************** ******************
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor.
She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied.
"I can't read."
************************************************** ******************
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color
it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was
fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying
sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these
yourself!"
************************************************** ******************
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming
after us with flashlights."
************************************************** ******************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," h e advised. "Mine says I'm
four to si x."
************************************************** ********* A second
grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma,
guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother,
more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's
interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple,"
replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'"
************************************************** ******************
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a
teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you
know what pregnant means?" she asked. Sure," said the young boy
confidently. "It means carrying a child."
************************************************** *
A nursery school te acher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said
one youngster. "No, said another, "he's just for good luck." A
third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she
said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."