Dakila
08-17-2006, 04:48 PM
Mods if this posted already kindly delete...thanks....Enjoy!!!!
BASAHIN NYO LANG ITO PARA MEDYO MARELAX AT
MA-EXCERCISE MGA PANGA NYO, HEEEE
************************************************** *****
Pinoy Marriage = Man's life cycle...
3 to 8 years old - Paramihan ng toys
9 to 18 years old - Pataasan ng grades.
19 to 25 - Padamihan ng siyota
26 to 35 - Pagandahan ng asawa.
36 to 45 - Palakihan ng income.
46 to 55 - Padamihan ng kabit.
Theme song of married couples...
1 to 10 years - Araw-araw gabi-gabi
11 to 25 years - Saan ka man naroon
26 to 49 years - Gaano kadalas ang Minsan
50 years and up - Maalaala mo kaya
Ano sa Tagalog ang asawa? ("May bahay")
Ano naman ang kabit? ("May condo")
Doc: "Ano ang trabaho mo, iha?"
Girl: "Substitute po."
Doc: "Di kaya prostitute ?"
Girl: "Doc, Mommy ko ang prostitute. Kung hindi siya
puwede, ako ang
pumapalit!"
In an obstetricians clinic:
Doc: "Hubad na, iha. Huwag kang mag-alala...I won't
take advantage of
you!"
Girl: "Saan ko po ilalagay ang panty at bra ko?"
Doc: "Diyan lang sa may tabi ng brief ko."
Sa seminario:
Madre: "Father, pagsabihan mo naman yung mga
seminarista. Umiihi sila
sapader!"
Father: "Sister naman. Maliit na bagay, huwag mo nang
pansinin!"
Madre: "Naku, Father, malalaki po!"
Dalawang madre ang kinidnap ng dalawang lalaki at
sila'y hinalay.
Madre#1: "Ama, patawarin mo po siya at hindi niya alam
ang kanyang
ginagawa."
Madre #2: "Sister, yung sa akin, marunong!"
At their honeymoon:
60-yr old man to his young bride:
"Honey, before we do it, let's first pray for
guidance." Young bride:
"Darling, just pray for endurance, I'll take care of
the guidance!"
Medyas
Isang alalay: Boss Eddie Gil, bakit magkaiba ang
medyas mo? Isang
green,isang red.
Eddie Gil: Ewan ko nga kung saan ito nabili ni Misis.
May
isang pares pa ako na ganito sa bahay.
Eddie Gil Makes a Wish
Eddie Gil shows a map of the Philippines to a genie
and wishes that all
the islands be connected by fly-overs
Genie: I'm not that good. Make another wish!
Eddie Gil: Okay. Make me intelligent!
Genie: Can i see the map again?
Eddie Gil calling a hotel receptionist.
Eddie Gil: Paano ako makakalabas dito sa kuwarto ko?
Receptionist: Bakit po sir, ano pong problema sa mga
pinto? Eddie Gil:
Dalawa lang ang pinto. Ang isa pag bukas ko banyo.
'Yung isa naman may
nakasabit na "do not disturb"
Final Exam
Eddie Gil is appearing for his University final
examination. He takes
his seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question paper for five
minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his
shoes off and
throws them out of the window. He then removes his
shirt and throws it
away as well. His pants, socks and watch follow suit.
The nurse,
alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on
"Miss, I am only
following the instructions, " he says, " it says
here, "Answer the
following questions in brief'."
Ballerina!
While watching a ballerina
tip toeing on stage, Eddie Gil commented- "Ang tanga
naman ng direktor!
Bakit hindi na lang sya kumuha ng matangkad?!"
In a coffee shop:
Eddie Gil: 1 coffee please
Waiter: Decaf, sir?
Eddie Gil: Of course! Debaso is too big and too much
for me!
Pizzeria
While in a pizzeria.
Eddie Gil : What are your specialties?
Waiter : Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Eddie Gil : Talaga, bigyan mo nga ako ng Shakey's !!
Science Class
In a science class.
Classmate : Bakit yung helicopter pag umiikot ang
elisi, umaangat sa
lupa? Bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot, nasa mesa
pa din?
Eddie Gil :Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung bentilador may
kurdon, pinipigilan
yon!!
There was a mirror that eats liars.
pangit: I think I'm CUTE! - kinain siya.
Taba: I think I'm SEXY! - kinain siya.
Eddie Gil: I think.. - kinain na
Don't judge a book by its cover only.
You know why????..... because you are not a Judge, peace
BASAHIN NYO LANG ITO PARA MEDYO MARELAX AT
MA-EXCERCISE MGA PANGA NYO, HEEEE
************************************************** *****
Pinoy Marriage = Man's life cycle...
3 to 8 years old - Paramihan ng toys
9 to 18 years old - Pataasan ng grades.
19 to 25 - Padamihan ng siyota
26 to 35 - Pagandahan ng asawa.
36 to 45 - Palakihan ng income.
46 to 55 - Padamihan ng kabit.
Theme song of married couples...
1 to 10 years - Araw-araw gabi-gabi
11 to 25 years - Saan ka man naroon
26 to 49 years - Gaano kadalas ang Minsan
50 years and up - Maalaala mo kaya
Ano sa Tagalog ang asawa? ("May bahay")
Ano naman ang kabit? ("May condo")
Doc: "Ano ang trabaho mo, iha?"
Girl: "Substitute po."
Doc: "Di kaya prostitute ?"
Girl: "Doc, Mommy ko ang prostitute. Kung hindi siya
puwede, ako ang
pumapalit!"
In an obstetricians clinic:
Doc: "Hubad na, iha. Huwag kang mag-alala...I won't
take advantage of
you!"
Girl: "Saan ko po ilalagay ang panty at bra ko?"
Doc: "Diyan lang sa may tabi ng brief ko."
Sa seminario:
Madre: "Father, pagsabihan mo naman yung mga
seminarista. Umiihi sila
sapader!"
Father: "Sister naman. Maliit na bagay, huwag mo nang
pansinin!"
Madre: "Naku, Father, malalaki po!"
Dalawang madre ang kinidnap ng dalawang lalaki at
sila'y hinalay.
Madre#1: "Ama, patawarin mo po siya at hindi niya alam
ang kanyang
ginagawa."
Madre #2: "Sister, yung sa akin, marunong!"
At their honeymoon:
60-yr old man to his young bride:
"Honey, before we do it, let's first pray for
guidance." Young bride:
"Darling, just pray for endurance, I'll take care of
the guidance!"
Medyas
Isang alalay: Boss Eddie Gil, bakit magkaiba ang
medyas mo? Isang
green,isang red.
Eddie Gil: Ewan ko nga kung saan ito nabili ni Misis.
May
isang pares pa ako na ganito sa bahay.
Eddie Gil Makes a Wish
Eddie Gil shows a map of the Philippines to a genie
and wishes that all
the islands be connected by fly-overs
Genie: I'm not that good. Make another wish!
Eddie Gil: Okay. Make me intelligent!
Genie: Can i see the map again?
Eddie Gil calling a hotel receptionist.
Eddie Gil: Paano ako makakalabas dito sa kuwarto ko?
Receptionist: Bakit po sir, ano pong problema sa mga
pinto? Eddie Gil:
Dalawa lang ang pinto. Ang isa pag bukas ko banyo.
'Yung isa naman may
nakasabit na "do not disturb"
Final Exam
Eddie Gil is appearing for his University final
examination. He takes
his seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question paper for five
minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his
shoes off and
throws them out of the window. He then removes his
shirt and throws it
away as well. His pants, socks and watch follow suit.
The nurse,
alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on
"Miss, I am only
following the instructions, " he says, " it says
here, "Answer the
following questions in brief'."
Ballerina!
While watching a ballerina
tip toeing on stage, Eddie Gil commented- "Ang tanga
naman ng direktor!
Bakit hindi na lang sya kumuha ng matangkad?!"
In a coffee shop:
Eddie Gil: 1 coffee please
Waiter: Decaf, sir?
Eddie Gil: Of course! Debaso is too big and too much
for me!
Pizzeria
While in a pizzeria.
Eddie Gil : What are your specialties?
Waiter : Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Eddie Gil : Talaga, bigyan mo nga ako ng Shakey's !!
Science Class
In a science class.
Classmate : Bakit yung helicopter pag umiikot ang
elisi, umaangat sa
lupa? Bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot, nasa mesa
pa din?
Eddie Gil :Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung bentilador may
kurdon, pinipigilan
yon!!
There was a mirror that eats liars.
pangit: I think I'm CUTE! - kinain siya.
Taba: I think I'm SEXY! - kinain siya.
Eddie Gil: I think.. - kinain na
Don't judge a book by its cover only.
You know why????..... because you are not a Judge, peace