ph02117
08-05-2006, 10:11 AM
Papaano mo sasabihin ng buong galang sa kausap mo na bad breath siya
na hindi mao-offend?
Ganito: "Mawalang galang na po... tae po ba ulam nyo kanina?"
MADRE: Ano ang apelyido mo, iho?
SAKRISTAN: Alam nyo na ho yun sister, lagi nyo po yun hinahawakan.
MADRE: Susme! Titi ang apelyido mo?!
SAKRISTAN: Sister naman, Rosario po.
ATE: Musta date mo sis? Epektibo ba payo ko, siling labuyo sa nipples
mo para di ka galawin ng bf mo?
SIS: Hay naku Ate, palpak! Ginanahan pa lalo, bicolano pala!
PUPIL: Mam, bumubukol po ba ang utot?
TEACHER: No! Definitely
not! Kasi hangin lang yun! Remember, hindi
bumubukol ang utot...
PUPIL: Naku patay! Tae na to!
Lumindol ng malakas noon... Nagkagulo ang lahat at nag panic!
Sumigaw ang isang lalaki..."Katapusan na! Katapusan na!" sumagot ang
isa pang lalaki... "Tanga! Akinse pa alang!"
PARI: Ang gustong magbigay ng donasyon sa simbahan, TUMAYO pagtugtog
ng organ. Sige iho, tugtog na.
ORGANISTA: Ano po ang tutugtugin?
PARI: Pambansang awit, iho.
After having sex, panay pa rin ang hawak ng girl sa ari ng boy...
BOY: Gusto mo pa uli?
GIRL: Hindi, namimiss ko lang... Meron kase ako nito dati eh.
PARROT: Psst! Baho! Baho! Baho!
IKAW: Pag sinabi mo pa uli sa kin yan, papatayin kita!
D next day...
PARROT: Psst! Psst!
IKAW: O, Bakit?!
PARROT: Lam mo na yun! a
HUSBAND FOR SALE(MUST READ!!!)
store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance
is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store
ONLY
ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but
you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a
woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
*Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.*
The second floor sign reads:
*Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.*
The third floor sign reads:
*Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.*
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
*Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead good looking and help with the housework. *
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
*Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic
streak.*
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:
*Floor 6 - You are visitor number 4,363,012 to this floor. There are
no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. *
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you
exit the building, and have a nice day!
na hindi mao-offend?
Ganito: "Mawalang galang na po... tae po ba ulam nyo kanina?"
MADRE: Ano ang apelyido mo, iho?
SAKRISTAN: Alam nyo na ho yun sister, lagi nyo po yun hinahawakan.
MADRE: Susme! Titi ang apelyido mo?!
SAKRISTAN: Sister naman, Rosario po.
ATE: Musta date mo sis? Epektibo ba payo ko, siling labuyo sa nipples
mo para di ka galawin ng bf mo?
SIS: Hay naku Ate, palpak! Ginanahan pa lalo, bicolano pala!
PUPIL: Mam, bumubukol po ba ang utot?
TEACHER: No! Definitely
not! Kasi hangin lang yun! Remember, hindi
bumubukol ang utot...
PUPIL: Naku patay! Tae na to!
Lumindol ng malakas noon... Nagkagulo ang lahat at nag panic!
Sumigaw ang isang lalaki..."Katapusan na! Katapusan na!" sumagot ang
isa pang lalaki... "Tanga! Akinse pa alang!"
PARI: Ang gustong magbigay ng donasyon sa simbahan, TUMAYO pagtugtog
ng organ. Sige iho, tugtog na.
ORGANISTA: Ano po ang tutugtugin?
PARI: Pambansang awit, iho.
After having sex, panay pa rin ang hawak ng girl sa ari ng boy...
BOY: Gusto mo pa uli?
GIRL: Hindi, namimiss ko lang... Meron kase ako nito dati eh.
PARROT: Psst! Baho! Baho! Baho!
IKAW: Pag sinabi mo pa uli sa kin yan, papatayin kita!
D next day...
PARROT: Psst! Psst!
IKAW: O, Bakit?!
PARROT: Lam mo na yun! a
HUSBAND FOR SALE(MUST READ!!!)
store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance
is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store
ONLY
ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but
you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a
woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
*Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.*
The second floor sign reads:
*Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.*
The third floor sign reads:
*Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.*
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
*Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead good looking and help with the housework. *
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
*Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic
streak.*
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:
*Floor 6 - You are visitor number 4,363,012 to this floor. There are
no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. *
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you
exit the building, and have a nice day!